Mother's Word to Baby

Forgive me child, for delivering you so soon. I'm holding you in my lap, a bundle of clothes, tubes and wires, a snorting machine pushing air into your lungs. Are you really sleeping? Do you feel my love? Do you feel pain? Can i take over some of it? They tell me you are so strong, so determined, that im starting to believe it. One day, i know we'll laugh and play together. Then guilt comes back to stop the good fantasies. To remind me that my body betrayed you when you were still needy. My baby, forgive my weakness, my sickness, my haste. Give me a second chance. From now on i promise, i'll be strong and patient. I'll hold you against my skin. I'll enclose you in my arms. I'll make you a new womb in the world outside. Take all the time you need to learn to breathe and grow. Then, when you're ready, I'll take you home.